Don't hold back.

One day you might find you have more to give... and 

no one to give it to.

{artwork by nanlawson}

I am from Texas.

My closest friend is from Canada.

Last month, she moved back. We are about to be camp counselors together. And then in three weeks, we must say goodbye.

That day will mark the end of two years of living, working, ministering, sweating, praying, crying, talking, exhorting, and growing up together.

That season is over.

Sometimes I feel like I'm mourning a loss I feel sure is coming, like visiting my grandma in the hospital every day before she died.

But really, is my friend dying? Not any more than she was before.

Will I ever see her again? Maybe not in "real life," but definitely when we are caught up to our REAL home and see what we've both been waiting for.

So why am I so sad?

It seems I am grieving not the loss of my friend herself, as I am confident we'll be friends our whole lives.

No, rather, I am grieving the loss of this season, which I loved so much.

But is that the way God wants me to look at it? 

{print by shirae}

He has given us each an allotted time, in an assigned place, and arranged people for us to share it with.

He is not about the time or the place or the people themselves, he's about how they change us and what we give them.

He's not about me being comfortable; he's about molding me into an imitation of his heart.

And if that means he needs to separate me from someone I love for-possibly-ever, then I want to embrace it. And I want to embrace the time I have left, and take advantage of every opportunity.

And it makes me think: isn't that how we should always be?

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12